I don't secretly want to punch slow walking people in the back of their heads

as the group I've joined on Facebook suggests. On the contrary, I'm very open about my desire to punch, kick, scratch and yell at them. And seriously, what is it with these slow walking people who are very determined to get in front of you, only to pretty much stop dead the minute they've managed to squeeze in, bringing you to a sudden halt and causing you to spill coffee all over yourself?

And how can people be so totally unaware of what's going on around them? How can they occupy an entire sidewalk, and when you're trying to get past they don't move an inch, even though they can clearly hear your heavy breathing and discrete (or not so discrete) coughs, indicating that you want to get past them. But no, instead you're forced to step down on the street and risk getting hit by a car.

And what's with those people who just walk slowly, and even though they're alone they walk in the middle of the sidewalk. Any normal person would walk on one side, right? So you're trying to pass them, but somehow they mysteriously manage to walk slightly to the left just as you're trying to pass them on that side, only to walk slightly to the right when you're trying that side instead.

And these flat escalators, whatever they're called. They're clearly not escalators as, well clearly they don't escalate. Conveyor belt? Anyway, so why would anyone in their right mind stand still on those? Clearly they're meant to transport you faster to the other side of building, they're not a place for a rest. And those who do walk, but slowly and in the middle, do they really think that everyone else wants to walk at the same slow fucking pace as they are? Show some respect and keep to the right for the love of humanity!

Maybe I'm just an abnormally fast walking person, but I'm of the opinion that if I still have to get from A to B, I might as well do it fast. Could be because I'm extremely restless, no matter how exhausted I am from a workout, I always walk down the escalator, because I cannot stand just standing there. And if I have to wait five minutes for a bus that would then take five minutes to get me where I need to go, I'd rather walk the 20 minutes to that place than stand still for 5.

Knowing this, imagine how tormented I felt at that meeting yesterday, stuck in a chair which my ass did not leave in over three hours. Agonizing it was, agonizing indeed.